The shark-based thriller starring Jason Statham has hit theaters on a weekend when nerd’s already have a full plate. So does it earn the right to chomp it’s way into your busy schedule? We doubt it. This week has some major releases: Madden 19, BlacKkKlansmen, We Happy Few, Quakecon here in Dallas, and a few others. The Meg might be what you’re looking for, if that’s watching an action movie just to kill time. Just do yourself a favor and kill that time on the couch if you’re going to watch this movie.
Statham and his band of aquanauts are forced to take down a giant Megalodon after they’ve released it from the bottom of the Mariana Trench. The project is sponsored by an imbecilic billionaire (Rainn Wilson) who has gathered a crew to explore the deepest part of the ocean to capitalize on their findings. The cast all bring their strengths to the screen for the most part. The star of the movie was far and away, Sophia Cai. The sweet little 10-year-old was the highlight of an otherwise unoriginal cast as she brought the real comedy relief and strayed away from the role of playing annoying spoiler to everyone’s safety, like much of the children in modern thrillers.
The dino-sized Megalodon was a killer sight as it terrorized humans all around the South China Sea. Crafted from the likes of timeless shark movies like the Jaws series and Deep Blue Sea, The Meg tries to live up to those classics in all the wrong ways. They have the token moments: near deaths, parties on the beach, futuristic technology; but this one fails to deliver on the expectations of taking these moments a step further into the realm of reality. I know. I know, “a movie about a pre-historic Megalodon isn’t based in reality in the first place.” I call bullshit. If you’re going to follow a blueprint, in today’s landscape, there are better ways to do it. Take what works and give us a shocking, all-too-real version of that, not a watered down, PG-13 money grab.
While reading into this movie’s buildup, I found the even Statham himself was disappointed in the theatrical release. That couldn’t be more evident in this film. This is far from anything you’ve ever seen or expect from one of his movies. He signed on with this film with the expectation that this was going to be a gory, dark thriller that flirts with being labeled a horror. Instead, the movie was forced by the studio to remove the adult content in an attempt to pull in the family crowd and piggyback off of last month’s Shark Week hype.
If you’re looking for a fun, mindless end-of-the-summer action thriller to enjoy at the IMAX.. you’re better off catching Mission Impossible: Fallout and using a bit more of your brain. If you’re into b-movies with b-level casting, then hey, this might be up your alley. Walking out of the theaters, I was thinking to myself, “If this movie was on a scale of Sharknado to Jaws, this movie DEFINITELY leans more towards Sharknado.” That should give you all the info you need. I’d wait this one out for a Redbox release. I’ll say that even though I may have accidentally eviscerated The Meg on this review, I still want to give it a 6. It was decent enough that I was never inclined to walk out or anything, and ocean movies usually pull me in. It never really takes itself seriously, so you aren’t put in the painful position of feeling like you have to care for these characters. Anyone watching this movie is rooting for the shark. If you aren’t rooting for the shark, what are you even really here for?
