One of these days we might actually get a G. I. Joe movie that paid attention to the true mythology of G. I. Joe. And there’s a certain irony to a G. I. Joe movie that markets itself as an origin story, but then actually ignores the true origins of the character. By that, I mean Snake Eyes one of the original and most beloved characters of G.I. Joe. As someone who grew up with the comics and the animated series, I’ve always been excited when a G. I. Joe movie comes out, of course, I’ve mostly been disappointed because they never quite live up to the comics and the animated series from when I was a kid… It’s not because I view those things from my childhood with Rose-colored glasses, it’s always been because the comics and the animated series are better. The storytelling has always been better. I was hoping that they would finally get it right with an origin story about Snake Eyes… No such luck! So, there will be a few spoilers in this review.  I will tell you right off the bat that if you know anything about this character, this is not his origin story. Now on the one hand you might say that you needed to make up a new origin story for Snake Eyes because the original character fought in Vietnam… Okay, that’s partially true. But the real problem is if you completely ignore the fact that Snake Eyes originally started in the military and was special forces even reaching the rank of Sergeant First Class before he ever trained as a ninja then you’re not telling a proper origin story of this character. And here’s a hint, you could’ve made this character a veteran of the Iraqi or war in Afghanistan. Instead, all we get is a wayward character whose father died and never gave him a true name. We don’t even find out how he learned martial arts! And in case you’re wondering, yes, these are important details when telling the origin story of Snake Eyes. If your main character has lost his way because his father died and then he ends up becoming a super soldier of some kind, then your origin story is Daredevil or Batman. I want to like this movie, but I can’t… I just can’t. It’s not absolutely terrible, it’s just not really a G. I. Joe movie no matter how many callbacks you do to the original characters or use Cobra as the main antagonist. So, let’s immediately dispense with the myth that this is a true origin story for a G. I. Joe character. No, it’s a movie made up by writers who completely ignored the mythology and thought they could cover that up by having a lot of callbacks to G. I. Joe like having general Joe Colton be the leader of G. I. Joe or introducing the characters of Scarlett and the Baroness.

There is a lot of great action in the movie and it makes it very entertaining. The martial arts choreography and the fight scenes are great. They even threw a little Asian mysticism and fantasy in there by having a magic stone for good measure, but in itself then this isn’t really a G. I. Joe origin story… It’s a martial arts mythic tale that we’ve seen before. A wayward warrior finds purpose and learns how to have a pure heart after living a life trying to find revenge for the death of a loved one. So of course, he is befriended by a warrior clan that gives him purpose. I do like the fact that they at least got the name correct of the Ninja clan that Snake Eyes learns from, it is the Arashikage Clan. That is a nice call back to G. I. Joe and it gives us a bit of an origin story on how Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow come together and will become enemies, truth of it is this movie is some martial arts mythic tail disguising itself is a G. I. Joe movie. But hey, you got the costumes correct!

I don’t mind martial arts action movies. Those kinds of movies don’t necessarily have to have a deep plot. The story can feel very familiar to other stories and still be entertaining, just don’t call it a G. I. Joe origins movie when it really isn’t. In fact, what this movie should really have been called is the Warriors Path or the Lost Warrior because that’s really what this story is. It certainly isn’t a Snake Eyes origin story after completely ignoring the source material like how Snake Eyes became mute while on a mission in the army before he ever became Snake Eyes.  It makes me wonder if the writers actually, did any research on G. I. Joe. All you really had to have done is look everything up on Wikipedia and it gives you the basic origin story of the Joe’s and each character. But I guess they couldn’t be bothered to do that so they create a whole new story and said it was a G. I. Joe movie.

But let’s say that you completely ignore the fact that it’s a G. I. Joe origin story. Let’s say that you didn’t use any of the names, it would have been a halfway decent and entertaining action flick, that I can get behind if I know what I’m watching. Just don’t tease me and say it’s a G. I. Joe movie. Now what I really do like about the movie, the cast is great and I mean the Asian cast as well as Peter Mensah, who plays the blind master and is definitely better than RZA who played him in the last movie. It’s definitely better casting. Maybe not all the cast is a perfect choice, but at least with the Asian cast they nailed it. The story is a little slow in the beginning as you’re dealing with the main character going through his trials to become a warrior, but once the movie picks up with lots of action it turns into a fun movie to watch. Yes, it’s a bit predictable, but that’s usually the case with Asian action movies. I will say this to anybody who wants to see the film, don’t go into it expecting an actual G. I. Joe movie. If you want that then go back to watch the animated series or the G. I. Joe movie where they made Serpentor. Watch Snake Eyes as a great martial arts action movie and nothing else! You will be entertained and that’s all you can really expect from a movie like this. It’s one of those movies that I’m sure I’ll buy the Blu-ray at Dollar Tree for a buck in the next couple of years. One day somebody may make a G. I. Joe movie that’s at least on par with the animated series in the old comics… Someday! I guess that’s all we can expect, fingers crossed, and hope that somebody will do it right one day. This is not a great movie, but it’s a fun action movie and for that reason alone it’s a five!